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    February 20

    生命

    生命是这世间最奇妙的轮回。

     

    生与死,间隔一呼一吸。人,喜生,畏死。试想生之前,死之后,不是一样无意识的物质世界么。

     

    我在图书馆看外科的手术图片,巨大的切口与血腥的脏器触目惊心,非常直接地抑制食欲。我问一位外科的硕士研究生,你看手术的情形不害怕么;她答,你只要过那段适应期。她跟我描述手术细节的神情,与我描述计算机的结构没什么太大区别。这几天,我又看了几段外科的心脏手术。开始还能坚持,但实在是我自己的心脏也没有那么坚强,胸部敞开的窗口强烈地压迫你的感观。异常佩服这些学医的人,人体对他们而言,到底是什么呢。

     

    父亲跟我描述过一些尸体的场景,他的胆气比我大得多,还能够摄影。我小时候就曾经因为看到他拍的照片而整晚睡不着。他还带我去看博物馆的古尸,吓得我现在都有心理障碍。可见,过早形成对死亡的恐惧,不是件好事。

     

    成年后,我也经历了一些生死的考验,知道生命的脆弱和逝去的瞬间。但是,这些让我更加热爱生活,热爱生命。人的生命,我觉得,在于把握时间的现在进行时。最有意义的,一是爱情,一是事业。没有爱情,就没有生活;没有事业,就没有价值。

     

    我很希望死亡以后,意识能够持续。我很想看看地球被太阳吞没,形成黑洞,再一次的宇宙爆炸。很可惜,我们必须参与这些物质循环。只能庆幸,作为物质,我们永远存在。

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    Jason Sunwrote:
    作为物质,你将不能像现在这样思考
    9 Mar.

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